I occasionally read or listen to sage advice from famous retired ministers. Their perseverance through many years to build a powerful kingdom ministry now gives them a platform to speak to younger ministers.
Often, their advice goes something like this: Spend more time with your family. I did not, because I was too devoted to the ministry. I did not lead a balanced life in this regard. Now I regret it.
The irony is that if they had lived such “balanced lives,” I wonder if they’d even have the platform to speak such words of warning to their younger brothers in ministry.
There’s a lot that I regret, too. I am not sure that just because I regret it, it means that I was wrong to do it. I think the answer to that needs to come from elsewhere. The question cannot be settled by reference to my feelings of regret about it years later. Apostle Paul “regretted” sending the “harsh letter” to the Corinthians. Later, he did not regret it since it led to them repenting.
Now that I am closer to 50 than 40, I am experiencing a lot of my memories with a tinge of sadness—like knowing that the days of wrestling with my boys in the living room are now gone forever. So maybe when the old warriors speak words of moderation, it’s not so much good advice to follow as expressions of their sad reminiscences.
Thank you, Pastor Ed Kang, for submitting this post. I myself do recognize that as I grow older, there are just more of the sad reminiscences, especially with children. It’s strange that we feel this most powerfully with children, and it’s not because I feel regret that I did something wrong… but maybe because with children, I see the passage of time very visibly.. Like when my oldest daughter started to lose her baby teeth and no longer acted like a baby. Whenever I think about my children and feel that tinge of sadness, your words will give me comfort and insight that perhaps I’m not feeling the regret of a wrongdoing, but I’m regretting the passage of time itself…
Anyway, these words have given me the motivation to continue to serve God, and I’m glad to grow old with the people of Gracepoint Fellowship Church.
i’m glad to read another post from Pastor Ed Kang!
thanks for sharing these thoughts. growing up, i heard stories of people serving on the mission field, and at our church in Berkeley, i heard so many testimonies of people who gave their all to serve God, even with young children, difficult living situations, persecution, etc.
Thanks for sharing pastor ed. This is something I really need to think about and struggle with while im still young. I want to make the most of my life. It’s easy to say that I want to give it all while im young and without a spouse or kids. I hope that one day I can be a loving wife and mother but my prayer is that I’ll be a faithful servant even with different transitions in my life.
Thanks you, Pastor Ed, for sharing. Reading about that “balanced life” reminded me of the balance beam clip by Francis Chan on Kelly’s blog. The context may be different, but the underpinnings are the same (that is, being driven by fear — even fear of regrets).