I have an unusual relationship with food.
I see it as a challenge.
It frustrates Kelly to no end. But I just don’t understand some people’s response to food. They stop eating just because they’re full. This strikes me as selfish. “Look,” I seem to feel deep inside, “we’re all full here. You are not the only one. You think I’m continuing to eat because I’m still hungry?”
Large amounts of food become some kind of challenge to rise up to, for me. Which is why, I think, when a bunch of guys get together and we all order those impossibly large famosas at LaPinata and we all finish ours, and we walk out feeling shortness of breath, we do so awash in a sense of camaraderie that comes over men who have accomplished something difficult together. We might not have had deep conversation, but still there is some kind of bonding over having overcome the challenge of those famosas without backing down. Or, maybe it’s only me who feels that way.
I think it all goes back to my childhood, when my dad would tell me stories that linked machoness with the ability to put away large amounts of food. If you ate well, you were considered a good boy.
Also, in my dad’s view of things, a thin person was suspect in some way. I guess the 60s and 70s in Korea, when I grew up, had a number of gaunt young men struggling with TB, so if you were nice and plump, well, that meant that you were a good, trustworthy, not finicky, generous-hearted man. So you can say my early programing in this area was just not healthy.
Given this kind of background, I guess some of my behavior re: food is a bit more understandable. Which goes to show you that you–and I’m thinking here mainly of my wife, and many other sister staff at Gracepoint–really need to know someone’s background before passing judgment on their behavior, and taking away their food while they’re in the midst of trying to be a good, big-hearted person.
Challenging Myself Beyond My Capacity
Published September 7, 2008 Uncategorized 9 CommentsTags: gracepoint fellowship church berk
Thanks for your interesting explanation! No wonder guys eat so much more than girls… Do you remember any of the stories your dad told you?
For me personally, I hate wasting food/resources cause my mom always tell me how much everything cost & how hard it is to earn money. I always finish my plate & only eat until I’m full, unless if it’s super delicious or I’m at a buffet. However, I won’t order larger portions on purpose, cause it cost more & why stuff myself until I feel like vomiting? Guys, don’t assume girls don’t eat more cause we care about our appearances too much…
Pastor Ed, i experienced this fully last Sunday night, when Pastor Will took away my end of meal treat. it was two small scoops of Dreyer’s ice cream that we were going to throw away. I know it was more than an obligation to eat but my desire as well. But to explain my own background, I honestly see it as a reward for working hard. I love to play hard and work hard and feel like eating is just a way to finish it all off. Of course, i know many are concerned for my health and I am thankful for their concern although I’m not always happy to hear it. So i know that taking away the ice cream was ok and actually a good thing. I ought not to eat that ice cream but just wanted to explain the way I felt about my food background as well.
And of course, being the youngest child and only son myself it brought my mom ultimate delight to see her son eating in such an earnest manner.
I love you Pastor Ed.
I think I can trace part of my tendency to overeat to lectures my parents would give me on starving children in Somalia and why I needed finish everything on my plate. To this day, I feel very guilty whenever I leave leftovers. This is really too bad, because when I go to a restaurant I like and read the menu, my eyes get as big as saucers, and my stomach feels at least as big… I often feel compelled to order the largest thing on the menu, only to realize in retrospect that I ordered wayyyy too much.
As for the sister staff, don’t worry pastor Ed, many a sister staff has commented on my weight, and everyone knows that I’m super skinny and super buff, so I wouldn’t worry too much about them if I were you
lol! I’m one of those selfish ppl that stop eating because they’re full.
I hate wasting food as well, so i’m glad there are those capable of stepping up to this challenge!
I know many a husband/ dad/ wife/ mom/ friend that step up to this challenge. They contributing to saving the environment by reducing the numbers of trash bags we consume- Thank you!
This post & some of the comments enlightened me, as I could never understand those that would eat large amounts of food only to exclaim with a sense of regret “I ate too much”…
The night before meeting my prospective (Korean) mother- in- law, one of the tips given to me by a Korean friend was basically ‘Eat a lot of her cooking- even if it hurts, eat some more’
At that crucial dinner, my earnest effort failed, and she thought her cooking didn’t please me. Thankfully in the end things worked out OK!
Just wanted to share that tip with others..
well, my grandma used to say every piece of rice that I didn’t finish in my bowl will transform into a zit on my face. So basically, if I didn’t finish everything in my bowl, I’m basically doomed to have bad acne in the future. Many Chinese parents used that to threaten their kids about finishing food, apparently.
Fight on P. Ed! Don’t let others stop you from challenging yourself beyond your capacity. I still remember goign to Japan w/ you in Summer 2005 when you visibly gained a few lbs., but this was NOT out of gluttony, but rather out of a desire to show us younger brothers that challenging yourself beyond your “capacity” was the right way to live. Thanks!
LOL – I wonder how much this describes the experience of most brothers at our church, or if it is just something unique to Pastor Ed’s experience.